At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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