he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
