Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
