do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
