It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
