The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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