Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize