So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
