WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
