is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
