feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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