you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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