I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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