It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
