It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
