Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
