Small penises have feelings too.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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