remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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