Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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