Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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