I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
