I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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