I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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