It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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