Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
