From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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