We won't sleep together?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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