I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
