I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
