Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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