so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
