How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your penis caused this!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
