oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
