Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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