I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
