sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize