these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
