i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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