there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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