im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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