Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
