Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
