Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
