very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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