Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
