It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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