There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize