was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fuck appropriateness.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
