I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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