If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
