guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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