I need help removing her.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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