So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
