don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
