3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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