is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
