I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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