I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize