I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
