ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
