Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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