1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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