She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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