Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
