I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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