peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
