no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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