what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
