Jerry, you need to find god
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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